Quotes

Get Stuffed - a do it yourself guide

I wish teenagers would believe those of us who are no longer in High School when we tell them that life gets better and what seems so important now, will not matter or be that big of a deal later in life.  For some reason, most of us girls went through those teenage years feeling like EVERYTHING we did or said was important.  As young girls we feel like a queen when the boy we like talks to us, be horrified when that same boy see's us trip in the hallway and we feel devastated, like it's the end of the world if you accidentally wore pajama's to school. 


I talked to a teenage girl today who shared with me a few of her current high school dramas.  She has had a few embarrassing moments the past few weeks.  I assured her we all have moments like that but she just said, "Not everyone...not the cool girls, and not as bad as mine".   


I am going to share a couple of my many embarrassing moments from high school to cheer her up.  Both of which are (in my opinion) tons worse than hers.  


1.  In 7th grade my friends talked me into stuffing my bra.  The plan was simple.  We were all going to show up on Monday morning with a bra full of Kleenex.  That way, if someone noticed the amazing growth spurt of our chest, we could say it is perfectly normal by pointing out all our previously flat chested friends.  We were so smart.  One might say even Brilliant!  


Monday morning rolled around and I was good to go.  I had been practicing all weekend to get just the right size.  Looking back, I don't know why I thought no one would notice a girl who went from an A cup to a D cup.  I went to the bathroom, locked the door and began stuffing.  All of a sudden I heard my mother at the door.  She announced that she would be driving us to school today instead of having us walk.  This was not part of the plan so I panicked a bit and threw on a jacket before meeting her at the car. 



Unfortunately none of my bra-stuffing friends had the same first period class as I did so I was going to have to wait about an hour to check out everyone else's new bust.   When I made it to school I put my jacket and a few books in my locker and then headed down the hall to my first period class.  Just about every person I passed was smiling at me.  I saw the cute boy I liked - his locker was by mine - and for the first time EVER, he spoke to me.   "Did you have a good weekend?"  I told him my weekend was great.  This was going to be an awesome day.  

I was only a few feet away from walking into my classroom when I saw my friends waving to me from the other side of the hall.  They pointed at the girls bathroom, the place we had planned to meet.  It was closer to my end of the hall so I made it to the bathroom a few seconds before anyone else.  Those few short seconds gave me just enough time to look in the mirror and then scream.


I had been in such a hurry, in such a panic, I had forgotten to stuff BOTH sides.  I had gone to school, walked to my locker, talked to boys, and spent an entire hour in class with only one fake,  tissue enhanced Uni-Breast.  Oh.....My.....Gosh.......... 

I faked being sick and my mom came and got me. 

I was "sick" for the rest of the day and the day after that as well.  

If my life was like the movie X MEN - I would be cyclops.

 I can only imagine what my super power would be...... 

2.  I really DID wear pajama's to school once, accidentally.  Read about that HERE.

Does stuff like this happen to anyone else?  

Did you have an embarrassing moment at school?   

I wish teenagers would believe those of us who are no longer in High School when we tell them that life gets better and what seems so important now, will not matter or be that big of a deal later in life.  For some reason, most of us girls went through those teenage years feeling like EVERYTHING we did or said was important.  As young girls we feel like a queen when the boy we like talks to us, be horrified when that same boy see's us trip in the hallway and we feel devastated, like it's the end of the world if you accidentally wore pajama's to school. 


I talked to a teenage girl today who shared with me a few of her current high school dramas.  She has had a few embarrassing moments the past few weeks.  I assured her we all have moments like that but she just said, "Not everyone...not the cool girls, and not as bad as mine".   


I am going to share a couple of my many embarrassing moments from high school to cheer her up.  Both of which are (in my opinion) tons worse than hers.  


1.  In 7th grade my friends talked me into stuffing my bra.  The plan was simple.  We were all going to show up on Monday morning with a bra full of Kleenex.  That way, if someone noticed the amazing growth spurt of our chest, we could say it is perfectly normal by pointing out all our previously flat chested friends.  We were so smart.  One might say even Brilliant!  


Monday morning rolled around and I was good to go.  I had been practicing all weekend to get just the right size.  Looking back, I don't know why I thought no one would notice a girl who went from an A cup to a D cup.  I went to the bathroom, locked the door and began stuffing.  All of a sudden I heard my mother at the door.  She announced that she would be driving us to school today instead of having us walk.  This was not part of the plan so I panicked a bit and threw on a jacket before meeting her at the car. 



Unfortunately none of my bra-stuffing friends had the same first period class as I did so I was going to have to wait about an hour to check out everyone else's new bust.   When I made it to school I put my jacket and a few books in my locker and then headed down the hall to my first period class.  Just about every person I passed was smiling at me.  I saw the cute boy I liked - his locker was by mine - and for the first time EVER, he spoke to me.   "Did you have a good weekend?"  I told him my weekend was great.  This was going to be an awesome day.  

I was only a few feet away from walking into my classroom when I saw my friends waving to me from the other side of the hall.  They pointed at the girls bathroom, the place we had planned to meet.  It was closer to my end of the hall so I made it to the bathroom a few seconds before anyone else.  Those few short seconds gave me just enough time to look in the mirror and then scream.


I had been in such a hurry, in such a panic, I had forgotten to stuff BOTH sides.  I had gone to school, walked to my locker, talked to boys, and spent an entire hour in class with only one fake,  tissue enhanced Uni-Breast.  Oh.....My.....Gosh.......... 

I faked being sick and my mom came and got me. 

I was "sick" for the rest of the day and the day after that as well.  

If my life was like the movie X MEN - I would be cyclops.

 I can only imagine what my super power would be...... 

2.  I really DID wear pajama's to school once, accidentally.  Read about that HERE.

Does stuff like this happen to anyone else?  

Did you have an embarrassing moment at school?   

OH, No She Didn't!!

Today I had a few appointments.  One of which was to drive my son to his school to pay a 5 dollar fine. After that quick stop we had to hurry over to Provo.   It should have been no big deal but I had left my bank card at home and all I had in my wallet was a 100 dollar bill.  (No, this is not a normal thing)  So I sent him in and started playing Words With Friends on my phone while I waited.  A short moment later my boy was walking back out to the car holding a blue paper and NO change.


He said to me, "You have to sign this permission form for the Lagoon trip tomorrow and then I have to take it to the secretary"  I had already signed one of those but whatever..... I handed him the signed form and as he walked off  I said, "Here you go, and don't forget the change".  


He stopped.  He turned back around to face me.  And then he said, "She said she was going to keep the change and apply them to next years fees."


I wish I had given my brain a second or two before I spoke.  But, somehow my alter ego, "Shaniqua"  took over and I yelled out "THE HELL SHE IS!"  (must repent later)


 My boy laughed and said, "I'll tell her you said "No Thanks."   (My boy understands that in JUNE lingo, "the hell she is"  means "No thanks")

It wasn't long before my son reemerged from the school.  This time he was smiling so I figured everything went well.  I figured WRONG!   I saw no money in either of his hands so I asked him, 

"Is the change in your pockets?"  

He kept smiling but instead of getting in the car he leaded down so we were face to face... "I told her "No Thank you" and then she said to ask my mom if she was sure".  

I calmly said "I'm very sure".  He smiled again...."Yeah, I told her you were pretty sure but then she said to tell my mom that if she wanted the change, to come get it."


Shaniqua was back and she was pissed.  


Shaniqua leaned across the car. Calmly but in all seriousness, Shaniqua softly whispered...
"Please inform the woman holding my $95.00 hostage, the last thing  she wants is for me to have to come in and speak to her,  face to face, and have a wee little chat. I don't have time for this. Tell her I don't want to, but I most defiantly will if I have to."


"I figured you'd say something like that" and then he laughed and ran back inside the school.  It was less than a minute later when I saw my boy and my $95.00 walking out of the double doors and into my car.  I asked him what the lady said but he told me she didn't say a word.  So I asked him how he got the money.


My boy had walked back to the office, up to the secretary and simply said, "You do NOT want my mom to come in here, trust me."  He must have had his inner Shaniqua come out too because she quickly handed over the money.  


Mission accomplished.  Long live Shaniqua.

Today I had a few appointments.  One of which was to drive my son to his school to pay a 5 dollar fine. After that quick stop we had to hurry over to Provo.   It should have been no big deal but I had left my bank card at home and all I had in my wallet was a 100 dollar bill.  (No, this is not a normal thing)  So I sent him in and started playing Words With Friends on my phone while I waited.  A short moment later my boy was walking back out to the car holding a blue paper and NO change.


He said to me, "You have to sign this permission form for the Lagoon trip tomorrow and then I have to take it to the secretary"  I had already signed one of those but whatever..... I handed him the signed form and as he walked off  I said, "Here you go, and don't forget the change".  


He stopped.  He turned back around to face me.  And then he said, "She said she was going to keep the change and apply them to next years fees."


I wish I had given my brain a second or two before I spoke.  But, somehow my alter ego, "Shaniqua"  took over and I yelled out "THE HELL SHE IS!"  (must repent later)


 My boy laughed and said, "I'll tell her you said "No Thanks."   (My boy understands that in JUNE lingo, "the hell she is"  means "No thanks")

It wasn't long before my son reemerged from the school.  This time he was smiling so I figured everything went well.  I figured WRONG!   I saw no money in either of his hands so I asked him, 

"Is the change in your pockets?"  

He kept smiling but instead of getting in the car he leaded down so we were face to face... "I told her "No Thank you" and then she said to ask my mom if she was sure".  

I calmly said "I'm very sure".  He smiled again...."Yeah, I told her you were pretty sure but then she said to tell my mom that if she wanted the change, to come get it."


Shaniqua was back and she was pissed.  


Shaniqua leaned across the car. Calmly but in all seriousness, Shaniqua softly whispered...
"Please inform the woman holding my $95.00 hostage, the last thing  she wants is for me to have to come in and speak to her,  face to face, and have a wee little chat. I don't have time for this. Tell her I don't want to, but I most defiantly will if I have to."


"I figured you'd say something like that" and then he laughed and ran back inside the school.  It was less than a minute later when I saw my boy and my $95.00 walking out of the double doors and into my car.  I asked him what the lady said but he told me she didn't say a word.  So I asked him how he got the money.


My boy had walked back to the office, up to the secretary and simply said, "You do NOT want my mom to come in here, trust me."  He must have had his inner Shaniqua come out too because she quickly handed over the money.  


Mission accomplished.  Long live Shaniqua.

The DODGEY Grey Haired Man

If I had to pick the highlight of my day I would have to go with "the incident with the grey haired man". We were having lunch with two of our boys when I noticed a grey haired man staring at me. For a good five minutes or so, every single time I looked at him he was looking right at me! Because he was standing in the bar area, I could only see from his chin up. He was starting to be just plain rude! So I leaned over and whispered in Jordan's ear...."Don't be obvious or make any sudden movements but, slowly look to your right. There is a creeper staring at us."

And so he looked...and the man started staring at him as well! The same thing happened. For another five minutes or so, every time Jordan glanced his way, "Mr. Grey" rudely stared him down too!

Just as Jordan was explaining to Brian and Jared, telling them about the creepy guy I wondered who this man came here with because surely who ever was waiting for him back at his table must be worried at how long he had been away. I decided to get a better look, so I stood up. I bravely met his glaring eyes....daring him to not look away!!

This is when I noticed that this guy looked familiar....About 5 seconds after that I realized my creepy stalker - The very rude Mr. Grey.........was a card board cut out of......this guy:

Yep, the beer guy from the commercials.  

Now imagine his face peering over a low wall at you.......

I started to laugh.  I sat back down and was about to announce my mistake when I heard Jared say, "Oh man!  He is staring at me too! That IS freaky!"  I started to laugh harder.  I tried to stop laughing long enough to explain but the look on Jared's face.....OH MY Goodness!!!!  He was creeped out BIGTIME....his face!!  All I managed to say was; "Jordan, I dare you to walk over to where Mr. Grey is - just walk by him and come right back."

Jordan accepted the dare but only made it a third of the way over, came back to our table and now, we both were laughing.  Brian had figured it out by this time but Jared was  flabbergasted that Jordan would go over to him!

We all sat there for a good while listening to a very concerned Jared.  And because he was sooooo freaked out by this guy we didn't tell him the truth for at least another 5 minutes.  By far, the most entertaining part of my day.

If I had to pick the highlight of my day I would have to go with "the incident with the grey haired man". We were having lunch with two of our boys when I noticed a grey haired man staring at me. For a good five minutes or so, every single time I looked at him he was looking right at me! Because he was standing in the bar area, I could only see from his chin up. He was starting to be just plain rude! So I leaned over and whispered in Jordan's ear...."Don't be obvious or make any sudden movements but, slowly look to your right. There is a creeper staring at us."

And so he looked...and the man started staring at him as well! The same thing happened. For another five minutes or so, every time Jordan glanced his way, "Mr. Grey" rudely stared him down too!

Just as Jordan was explaining to Brian and Jared, telling them about the creepy guy I wondered who this man came here with because surely who ever was waiting for him back at his table must be worried at how long he had been away. I decided to get a better look, so I stood up. I bravely met his glaring eyes....daring him to not look away!!

This is when I noticed that this guy looked familiar....About 5 seconds after that I realized my creepy stalker - The very rude Mr. Grey.........was a card board cut out of......this guy:

Yep, the beer guy from the commercials.  

Now imagine his face peering over a low wall at you.......

I started to laugh.  I sat back down and was about to announce my mistake when I heard Jared say, "Oh man!  He is staring at me too! That IS freaky!"  I started to laugh harder.  I tried to stop laughing long enough to explain but the look on Jared's face.....OH MY Goodness!!!!  He was creeped out BIGTIME....his face!!  All I managed to say was; "Jordan, I dare you to walk over to where Mr. Grey is - just walk by him and come right back."

Jordan accepted the dare but only made it a third of the way over, came back to our table and now, we both were laughing.  Brian had figured it out by this time but Jared was  flabbergasted that Jordan would go over to him!

We all sat there for a good while listening to a very concerned Jared.  And because he was sooooo freaked out by this guy we didn't tell him the truth for at least another 5 minutes.  By far, the most entertaining part of my day.

Family Secret Code Words

I can't remember the exact age my children were when we began using the secret code words.  I know my oldest son was about 7 or 8 years old and I remember when we first realized we needed to have a special word for him to use.

It was right at the beginning of the school year, and our son was learning about "Stranger Danger".  Who to talk to if you get lost in the grocery store, what to do if a stranger offers you candy or scares you and other important information our little kids at this age, should know anyway.  It was great to have what we had taught our child at home, reinforced at school.  Josh would come home and tell us about what he had learned and that lead into great family discussions where we could be more specific.  


I have always made it a point to make sure my children understood that most "Bad Guys" don't look like monsters or the bad guys on TV.  Unfortunately, the scariest and most dangerous people are usually friends or family members.  It's a sad fact of life - especially in my own life - so it was imperative to teach my kids to trust that still small voice when it whispers to them that something is not right.  On this particular day, we were talking about getting in a car with someone they didn't know.  My little 7 year old had no problem telling his father and I all the things he could say or do if offered such a car ride.  He acted out ninja and wrestling moves he was apparently skilled and prepared enough to use.  (If someone had told me then that he would grow up to be a police officer, I would have been worried about my "Officer Jackie Chan" defending the public)

So I asked him, "Okay Josh, what if  one of your uncle's came by to pick you up from school?  Would you go with him?"  His reply was yes.  "Okay, what if one of mom or dad's friends said that we had sent him to to pick you up?"... again, the answer was yes.  "Now, how do you know for sure that they are telling the truth?  How would you know if we really sent them?"  His reply was, "Ninja's can tell when bad guys are lying."   And with that, we devised the first Haskell secret code.   And we have been using  code words ever since.  


Code Word #1  - *TEMPLE 

When anyone showed up unexpectedly, offering a ride or anything involving getting in a car, ask if your parents sent them.  If they say no, don't get in the car.  If they say yes, ask them for the password.  If they don't know the password, don't get in the car.   (yes Josh, even if it is a Porsche)   If they say anything at all except for the word temple, you are to decline the offer and quickly walk away.  Over the past 20 years each one of my children has used the code several times.  I've had funny phone calls where I sent my sisters or friends to pick up my children only to get a frustrated but amused phone call saying, "For heaven's sake!  Would you please give me the code word so they will get in the car?!"

Code Word #2 - *POPCORN

The need for this word arose from trying to find a way to tell a female family member that her shirt was a bit to tight,  revealing or has slid down so that her boob's are bursting out for the world to see.  I just throw a random sentence out like, "I'm so glad you invited us for dinner".......(notice my sister has a button undone, boobs falling out of her shirt) "But you know what sounds yummy?  POPCORN...Lots of POPCORN."  Works like a charm unless we are at the movies.  Then its just a mess. Funny, but a mess.  The mere mention of popcorn makes us instinctively grab our shirts in a panic.  And people say popcorn a lot at the movies.

Code Word #3 - When referring to sex, the word is **YAHTZEE.  When we wanted to talk about grown up things, but our kids were around we would simply say, "You wont believe what happened a few nights ago when we were playing Yahtzee.  He literally caught the bed on fire!"  (true story)  I think most of my friends and family know our code and still use it but things took a terrible turn when at long last our teenage children figured out what we were really saying.  

One day,  when I was Christmas shopping , I received a picture & a text from my two older kids who were on the other side of the store.  They had found the game Yahtzee.   I received another picture and then another after that and by the time they had sent me the last picture, I could hear them laughing from the opposite end of the store. 

What's so funny about Yahtzee? My kids were going to purchase a game as a gift and wanted to know which one I liked.   Just like the word it stands in for, there are many ways to play Yahtzee!  There is Word Yahtzee, Travel Yahtzee, Triple Yahtzee, Hand Held Yahtzee, Challenge Yahtzee, and  Yahtzee Deluxe!   Yahtzee Flash, Halloween Yahtzee, Power Yahtzee,  Turbo Yahtzee.  There is Toy Story, Sponge Bob,  a Muppet version and you can play online if you'd like.  You can even play instant or mini   The endless jokes and innuendos make it way to fun to ever change this code word.   

Code #4 -  AFRICA   One of our most used words was made up by accident but it has been vital in many ways.  We have a word that basically means something is wrong and we need to leave or get away. My kids say this word when a family gathering gets boring or if  they want to leave.   A few years ago my daughter was on a date that went bad.  Real Bad.  I had called her to ask a quick question when out of no where she said, "Mom, can you print out my essay about Africa?"  All I said was "Where are you, I'm on my way."  

I bet our family has 50+ code words that we regularly use.  Some are important and some are just for fun. Does every family have code words?  

**This post was brought to you by the new romantic comedy "I thought I was going to play Yahtzee but I ended up playing RISK".   Staring U. Didme Wrong and Ima Jerk. 
*Code names may or may not have been changed to protect the integrity of the Haskell Family Code.  Long live the code!  

I can't remember the exact age my children were when we began using the secret code words.  I know my oldest son was about 7 or 8 years old and I remember when we first realized we needed to have a special word for him to use.

It was right at the beginning of the school year, and our son was learning about "Stranger Danger".  Who to talk to if you get lost in the grocery store, what to do if a stranger offers you candy or scares you and other important information our little kids at this age, should know anyway.  It was great to have what we had taught our child at home, reinforced at school.  Josh would come home and tell us about what he had learned and that lead into great family discussions where we could be more specific.  


I have always made it a point to make sure my children understood that most "Bad Guys" don't look like monsters or the bad guys on TV.  Unfortunately, the scariest and most dangerous people are usually friends or family members.  It's a sad fact of life - especially in my own life - so it was imperative to teach my kids to trust that still small voice when it whispers to them that something is not right.  On this particular day, we were talking about getting in a car with someone they didn't know.  My little 7 year old had no problem telling his father and I all the things he could say or do if offered such a car ride.  He acted out ninja and wrestling moves he was apparently skilled and prepared enough to use.  (If someone had told me then that he would grow up to be a police officer, I would have been worried about my "Officer Jackie Chan" defending the public)

So I asked him, "Okay Josh, what if  one of your uncle's came by to pick you up from school?  Would you go with him?"  His reply was yes.  "Okay, what if one of mom or dad's friends said that we had sent him to to pick you up?"... again, the answer was yes.  "Now, how do you know for sure that they are telling the truth?  How would you know if we really sent them?"  His reply was, "Ninja's can tell when bad guys are lying."   And with that, we devised the first Haskell secret code.   And we have been using  code words ever since.  


Code Word #1  - *TEMPLE 

When anyone showed up unexpectedly, offering a ride or anything involving getting in a car, ask if your parents sent them.  If they say no, don't get in the car.  If they say yes, ask them for the password.  If they don't know the password, don't get in the car.   (yes Josh, even if it is a Porsche)   If they say anything at all except for the word temple, you are to decline the offer and quickly walk away.  Over the past 20 years each one of my children has used the code several times.  I've had funny phone calls where I sent my sisters or friends to pick up my children only to get a frustrated but amused phone call saying, "For heaven's sake!  Would you please give me the code word so they will get in the car?!"

Code Word #2 - *POPCORN

The need for this word arose from trying to find a way to tell a female family member that her shirt was a bit to tight,  revealing or has slid down so that her boob's are bursting out for the world to see.  I just throw a random sentence out like, "I'm so glad you invited us for dinner".......(notice my sister has a button undone, boobs falling out of her shirt) "But you know what sounds yummy?  POPCORN...Lots of POPCORN."  Works like a charm unless we are at the movies.  Then its just a mess. Funny, but a mess.  The mere mention of popcorn makes us instinctively grab our shirts in a panic.  And people say popcorn a lot at the movies.

Code Word #3 - When referring to sex, the word is **YAHTZEE.  When we wanted to talk about grown up things, but our kids were around we would simply say, "You wont believe what happened a few nights ago when we were playing Yahtzee.  He literally caught the bed on fire!"  (true story)  I think most of my friends and family know our code and still use it but things took a terrible turn when at long last our teenage children figured out what we were really saying.  

One day,  when I was Christmas shopping , I received a picture & a text from my two older kids who were on the other side of the store.  They had found the game Yahtzee.   I received another picture and then another after that and by the time they had sent me the last picture, I could hear them laughing from the opposite end of the store. 

What's so funny about Yahtzee? My kids were going to purchase a game as a gift and wanted to know which one I liked.   Just like the word it stands in for, there are many ways to play Yahtzee!  There is Word Yahtzee, Travel Yahtzee, Triple Yahtzee, Hand Held Yahtzee, Challenge Yahtzee, and  Yahtzee Deluxe!   Yahtzee Flash, Halloween Yahtzee, Power Yahtzee,  Turbo Yahtzee.  There is Toy Story, Sponge Bob,  a Muppet version and you can play online if you'd like.  You can even play instant or mini   The endless jokes and innuendos make it way to fun to ever change this code word.   

Code #4 -  AFRICA   One of our most used words was made up by accident but it has been vital in many ways.  We have a word that basically means something is wrong and we need to leave or get away. My kids say this word when a family gathering gets boring or if  they want to leave.   A few years ago my daughter was on a date that went bad.  Real Bad.  I had called her to ask a quick question when out of no where she said, "Mom, can you print out my essay about Africa?"  All I said was "Where are you, I'm on my way."  

I bet our family has 50+ code words that we regularly use.  Some are important and some are just for fun. Does every family have code words?  

**This post was brought to you by the new romantic comedy "I thought I was going to play Yahtzee but I ended up playing RISK".   Staring U. Didme Wrong and Ima Jerk. 
*Code names may or may not have been changed to protect the integrity of the Haskell Family Code.  Long live the code!  

What on Earth?!

Yesterday I went to the movies 
with my two oldest kids. 

After the movie I went to use the restroom. 
While I was in my stall, I reached into my pocket to pull out my phone. When I did this, a dollar bill and two quarters fell out onto the floor by my feet. 

Before I had a chance to reach down and pick up my money, the grandma in the stall next to me grabbed the dollar and the quarters like a seagull attacking a french fry, and hurried out of the restroom! Holy cow...I started laughing. My kids were waiting for me so when I left the restroom I hurried over to them and said, "I have to tell you what just happen in there!" to which their response is,

 "Sick...I'll pass" & "She's old, the little things excite her". 

Whatever....it was funny.

Yesterday I went to the movies 
with my two oldest kids. 

After the movie I went to use the restroom. 
While I was in my stall, I reached into my pocket to pull out my phone. When I did this, a dollar bill and two quarters fell out onto the floor by my feet. 

Before I had a chance to reach down and pick up my money, the grandma in the stall next to me grabbed the dollar and the quarters like a seagull attacking a french fry, and hurried out of the restroom! Holy cow...I started laughing. My kids were waiting for me so when I left the restroom I hurried over to them and said, "I have to tell you what just happen in there!" to which their response is,

 "Sick...I'll pass" & "She's old, the little things excite her". 

Whatever....it was funny.

Mighty Fine Blog Tour

All I knew about the movie Mighty Fine was what I had read:


"The film, based on writer/director Debbie Goodstein's childhood experiences, touches upon the controversial and difficult roles that anger and aggression can play in a family. Mighty Fine tells the story of a 1970's family, who move from Brooklyn to New Orleans in search of a better, more prosperous life. The movie paints the picture of Joe Fine's (Chazz Palminteri) love for his wife (Andie MacDowell) and daughters (Jodelle Ferland and Rainey Qualley), juxtaposed against his explosive, rage-filled side, which he often takes out on those closest to him. The emotional abuse leaves Stella, Maddie, and Natalie conflicted between their love for this charismatic, generous man, and their vulnerability in the face of his unpredictable mood swings." 


What I did not know, was how this film would trigger a flood of memories from my own childhood coupled with a wide range of emotions.   I found myself identifying with each character.  


I've been the child who loves her parent in spite of the hurt they caused.  I've been the child who was on the receiving end of an unharnessed rage. I've been scared and I've felt protective of other family members. I've been the spouse trying to function normally in a far from normal environment and I"ve also been the woman who decides enough is enough.  


As the story played out, it was hard watch but impossible to look away.  I was mentally begging and pleading for Mrs. Fine to protect her daughters from their father, but she couldn't even stand up for herself.  All three of the women are victims of Mr. Fine's unpredictable fits of rage, fueled by job loss, money problems and his unstable mental health.  I think most of us can understand how the stress of providing for a family can strain relationships and cause tempers to flare more often than not.  The difference is the way in which we act, or how we treat others.  


I highly recommend Mighty Fine to anyone wanting to understand, appreciate or support the family unit.  Maybe, like me, you will recognize yourself or a loved one in this film.  Maybe after watching Mighty Fine you will be more grateful for your own family.  Either way, this movie teaches many different lessons and learning and educating ourselves is never a bad thing.  


Check out Mighty Fine in select theaters May 25.

*I participated in a campaign on behalf of Mom Central Consulting for Mighty Fine and the distributor. I received access to an online showing of the film and a promotional item to thank me for participating.

All I knew about the movie Mighty Fine was what I had read:


"The film, based on writer/director Debbie Goodstein's childhood experiences, touches upon the controversial and difficult roles that anger and aggression can play in a family. Mighty Fine tells the story of a 1970's family, who move from Brooklyn to New Orleans in search of a better, more prosperous life. The movie paints the picture of Joe Fine's (Chazz Palminteri) love for his wife (Andie MacDowell) and daughters (Jodelle Ferland and Rainey Qualley), juxtaposed against his explosive, rage-filled side, which he often takes out on those closest to him. The emotional abuse leaves Stella, Maddie, and Natalie conflicted between their love for this charismatic, generous man, and their vulnerability in the face of his unpredictable mood swings." 


What I did not know, was how this film would trigger a flood of memories from my own childhood coupled with a wide range of emotions.   I found myself identifying with each character.  


I've been the child who loves her parent in spite of the hurt they caused.  I've been the child who was on the receiving end of an unharnessed rage. I've been scared and I've felt protective of other family members. I've been the spouse trying to function normally in a far from normal environment and I"ve also been the woman who decides enough is enough.  


As the story played out, it was hard watch but impossible to look away.  I was mentally begging and pleading for Mrs. Fine to protect her daughters from their father, but she couldn't even stand up for herself.  All three of the women are victims of Mr. Fine's unpredictable fits of rage, fueled by job loss, money problems and his unstable mental health.  I think most of us can understand how the stress of providing for a family can strain relationships and cause tempers to flare more often than not.  The difference is the way in which we act, or how we treat others.  


I highly recommend Mighty Fine to anyone wanting to understand, appreciate or support the family unit.  Maybe, like me, you will recognize yourself or a loved one in this film.  Maybe after watching Mighty Fine you will be more grateful for your own family.  Either way, this movie teaches many different lessons and learning and educating ourselves is never a bad thing.  


Check out Mighty Fine in select theaters May 25.

*I participated in a campaign on behalf of Mom Central Consulting for Mighty Fine and the distributor. I received access to an online showing of the film and a promotional item to thank me for participating.

August Girls Night - An Evening with Tommy Lee Jones & Meryl Streep

Presenting...

HOPE SPRINGS

I saw this movie trailer yesterday and thought it looked like a great chick flick.  

I will watch any movie Meryl Streep is in, 

and I sure love me some Tommy Lee Jones. Who doesn't?!

(Why is it that men usually get more handsome with age?)  

Anyway, these two together in this movie?   I'm so there!   Already marked the date on my calendar and started a list of friends to tag along and make a night of it!  

Wanna come? The cost of admission to this spectacular event is only that you leave a comment naming an actor or famous male over the age of 50, who still has it goin' on. I'll start you off....

Simply June - Simply Sean Connery

( sigh...)

If you can name a guy that is NOT george clooney, or any previously mentioned male, I'll pay for your popcorn. 

If you want to list Danny Devito as your choice, like my friend Robin & I once did, you will not be judged. 

If you have a couple of names in mind and want to name them all, go ahead! 

and last, but not least....

If you don't mind settling a debate my sister Lisa and I had last year, that has carried on to this very day, please answer the following question:

In the movie "Sherlock Holmes" with Robert Downey Jr. & Jude Law, 

Who would you rather marry?  Sherlock or Watson?  Remember, not the actors, but the characters in the film.

I chose Sherlock. Lisa chose Watson. 
Most likely because in real life, we are a lot like the characters we each chose. Either way,

I think most women would choose Sherlock, Lisa disagrees...

Who would you pick?

Presenting...

HOPE SPRINGS

I saw this movie trailer yesterday and thought it looked like a great chick flick.  

I will watch any movie Meryl Streep is in, 

and I sure love me some Tommy Lee Jones. Who doesn't?!

(Why is it that men usually get more handsome with age?)  

Anyway, these two together in this movie?   I'm so there!   Already marked the date on my calendar and started a list of friends to tag along and make a night of it!  

Wanna come? The cost of admission to this spectacular event is only that you leave a comment naming an actor or famous male over the age of 50, who still has it goin' on. I'll start you off....

Simply June - Simply Sean Connery

( sigh...)

If you can name a guy that is NOT george clooney, or any previously mentioned male, I'll pay for your popcorn. 

If you want to list Danny Devito as your choice, like my friend Robin & I once did, you will not be judged. 

If you have a couple of names in mind and want to name them all, go ahead! 

and last, but not least....

If you don't mind settling a debate my sister Lisa and I had last year, that has carried on to this very day, please answer the following question:

In the movie "Sherlock Holmes" with Robert Downey Jr. & Jude Law, 

Who would you rather marry?  Sherlock or Watson?  Remember, not the actors, but the characters in the film.

I chose Sherlock. Lisa chose Watson. 
Most likely because in real life, we are a lot like the characters we each chose. Either way,

I think most women would choose Sherlock, Lisa disagrees...

Who would you pick?

The LIST - How would you use it?

I stumbled across this idea on Pinterest and loved it!  I instantly saw the endless possibilities.  The gal that came up with this list, (check her out here) did so as a way to write something about herself to pass on to her posterity.  She was going to spend the next 30 days answering each item on the list.  Great idea, right?  She also mentioned it might be fun to ask each other these questions on a date.  I think it would be great to ask these questions in a group date as well.  

My spin on this is to use these questions at our next Family Home Evening.  I want to pick at least two questions from the list and see what kind of responses we get.  Imagine the conversations those 30 items on the list could lead to!  ( Granted, question three will be taken off the list for the sake of time and sanity)  We may have to ask only a few each time we do this activity, but with older children, the answers could be quite entertaining and possibly give us a moment of understanding our family member a bit better than before.  If nothing else, it will be interesting to hear everyone’s responses.  The point is to get the family talking.  Use the list on your next date night, or at the next family picnic....Or use the list next time you have friends over to get the conversation going! Give it a try!

THE LIST

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

7. What is your dream job, and why?

8. What are 5 passions you have?

9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

14. Describe 5 strengths you have.

15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

28. What is your love language?

29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?

30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Check out the original list from the very cool blog HOPESandDreams.  

I stumbled across this idea on Pinterest and loved it!  I instantly saw the endless possibilities.  The gal that came up with this list, (check her out here) did so as a way to write something about herself to pass on to her posterity.  She was going to spend the next 30 days answering each item on the list.  Great idea, right?  She also mentioned it might be fun to ask each other these questions on a date.  I think it would be great to ask these questions in a group date as well.  

My spin on this is to use these questions at our next Family Home Evening.  I want to pick at least two questions from the list and see what kind of responses we get.  Imagine the conversations those 30 items on the list could lead to!  ( Granted, question three will be taken off the list for the sake of time and sanity)  We may have to ask only a few each time we do this activity, but with older children, the answers could be quite entertaining and possibly give us a moment of understanding our family member a bit better than before.  If nothing else, it will be interesting to hear everyone’s responses.  The point is to get the family talking.  Use the list on your next date night, or at the next family picnic....Or use the list next time you have friends over to get the conversation going! Give it a try!

THE LIST

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

7. What is your dream job, and why?

8. What are 5 passions you have?

9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

14. Describe 5 strengths you have.

15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?

22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

28. What is your love language?

29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?

30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Check out the original list from the very cool blog HOPESandDreams.  

Quotes

The Boy Who Graduated

Tonight my baby boy will graduate and I can't help but think about how proud of him I am.  He and I have been on quite a journey together.  It was a journey that began before he was even born.  I felt his little spirit with me during my pregnancy.  I focused on him, instead of the craziness all around me on the day he was born.  

From the first moment I saw him, my boy and I became a two man team.  It was he and I against the world and he was an awesome teammate.  You see, every team needs a captain and the best of teams have someone who inspires the rest of the team to push beyond what they think is possible.  Josh was my motivation and it was all I needed to keep pushing forward when all I wanted was to give up.  


It was my little son Joshua who reminded me I deserved more than I had settled for.  We both did.  So, when I found myself a young single mother, I would pray like crazy to find a man who could love us both.  Yep, we were a package deal which meant I had to have lots of faith in God answering my prayers.  

And you know what happened?  God out did Himself.  He gave us Brian.  My team of two became a team of three and I, for the first time ever, had a co-captain.  Over the years my team grew until finally there were six of us.  

Brian and I have always stayed co-captains but our children took turns on the role they played.  I must admit there were times I wondered about him as a team member.  Like the time he bragged about how good he was at church by running up to me in the hall and proudly announced to his father and I that he had only climbed out the window during Sunday school class once!  Or the time he duct taped a chair to a lawn mower and gave barefoot children rides while the blades under them spun wildly.  And then there is the time he burnt off his eye brows and the front part of his hairline because he "wondered what would happen if I poured gasoline on a fire".  Joshua was a very curious  boy.  But he is also the 5th grade boy who called his father one day from school because he was stressed out.  

Brian - "Josh, is everything okay?"
Josh - "No, I threw rocks at the school air conditioning unit during recess"
Brian - "Did you get in trouble?"
Josh - "No.  The teacher said to not do it again, but I feel bad"
Brian - "It's okay, just dont throw rocks anymore"
Josh - "I think I should be in trouble"
Brian - "What do you think should happen to you?"
Josh - "You should probably ground me for a few days"
Brian - (trying not to laugh)  "Okay Josh, you're grounded."
Josh - "Thanks Dad....I feel better now."

Sometimes Josh was the injured player and sometimes he was benched but most of the time he was the one the rest of the players looked up to.  He is Honest, almost to a fault.  

I've watched my little boy grow into a man I am proud to call my son.  He is kind and fun to be with, loyal and yet a prankster.  Josh is friendly and strong, spiritual but not uptight.  He is a natural born leader and when he loves you, he loves with all his heart.  And of course, he is handsome and charming as well.  

Here we are, 23 years after I first felt his spirit beside me and I couldn't be happier for him.  Now, when he goes out into the world, things are different. 


He is his own one man team, and I am just back up, sitting on the sidelines, just in case he needs me.  Soon it will be Josh's turn to be a co-captain of his own team and when that happens, the role I play will be that of cheerleader.  

Congrats Josh!  

Tonight my baby boy will graduate and I can't help but think about how proud of him I am.  He and I have been on quite a journey together.  It was a journey that began before he was even born.  I felt his little spirit with me during my pregnancy.  I focused on him, instead of the craziness all around me on the day he was born.  

From the first moment I saw him, my boy and I became a two man team.  It was he and I against the world and he was an awesome teammate.  You see, every team needs a captain and the best of teams have someone who inspires the rest of the team to push beyond what they think is possible.  Josh was my motivation and it was all I needed to keep pushing forward when all I wanted was to give up.  


It was my little son Joshua who reminded me I deserved more than I had settled for.  We both did.  So, when I found myself a young single mother, I would pray like crazy to find a man who could love us both.  Yep, we were a package deal which meant I had to have lots of faith in God answering my prayers.  

And you know what happened?  God out did Himself.  He gave us Brian.  My team of two became a team of three and I, for the first time ever, had a co-captain.  Over the years my team grew until finally there were six of us.  

Brian and I have always stayed co-captains but our children took turns on the role they played.  I must admit there were times I wondered about him as a team member.  Like the time he bragged about how good he was at church by running up to me in the hall and proudly announced to his father and I that he had only climbed out the window during Sunday school class once!  Or the time he duct taped a chair to a lawn mower and gave barefoot children rides while the blades under them spun wildly.  And then there is the time he burnt off his eye brows and the front part of his hairline because he "wondered what would happen if I poured gasoline on a fire".  Joshua was a very curious  boy.  But he is also the 5th grade boy who called his father one day from school because he was stressed out.  

Brian - "Josh, is everything okay?"
Josh - "No, I threw rocks at the school air conditioning unit during recess"
Brian - "Did you get in trouble?"
Josh - "No.  The teacher said to not do it again, but I feel bad"
Brian - "It's okay, just dont throw rocks anymore"
Josh - "I think I should be in trouble"
Brian - "What do you think should happen to you?"
Josh - "You should probably ground me for a few days"
Brian - (trying not to laugh)  "Okay Josh, you're grounded."
Josh - "Thanks Dad....I feel better now."

Sometimes Josh was the injured player and sometimes he was benched but most of the time he was the one the rest of the players looked up to.  He is Honest, almost to a fault.  

I've watched my little boy grow into a man I am proud to call my son.  He is kind and fun to be with, loyal and yet a prankster.  Josh is friendly and strong, spiritual but not uptight.  He is a natural born leader and when he loves you, he loves with all his heart.  And of course, he is handsome and charming as well.  

Here we are, 23 years after I first felt his spirit beside me and I couldn't be happier for him.  Now, when he goes out into the world, things are different. 


He is his own one man team, and I am just back up, sitting on the sidelines, just in case he needs me.  Soon it will be Josh's turn to be a co-captain of his own team and when that happens, the role I play will be that of cheerleader.  

Congrats Josh!  

The Divorce Conditions

The Divorce  Conditions

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. 

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.   She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? 

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! 

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. 

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. 

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. 

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. 

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. 

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. 

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions.  She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. 

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside 

the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. 

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was g rowing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. 

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.  Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness  in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. 

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her h and surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. 

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. 

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. 

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. 

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. 

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. 

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.  My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create a n environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.   Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

- Author unknown

The Divorce  Conditions

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. 

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.   She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? 

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! 

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. 

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. 

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. 

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. 

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. 

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. 

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions.  She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. 

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside 

the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. 

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was g rowing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. 

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.  Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness  in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. 

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her h and surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. 

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. 

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. 

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. 

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. 

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. 

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.  My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create a n environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.   Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

- Author unknown

Simply Will Smith

I  have found, when it comes to really great Quotes, you can count on the Fresh Prince to give ya some real good stuff!  
I thought I'd share some of my favorite Will Smith Quotes.


"Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there."

I heard Oprah say this once.  She said if you are a jerk and you win the lottery, you become a jerk with money and spend your money on selfish things. But, if you are a good, decent person and you come into money, you give to others and you don't change who you are as a person.  


"I don't know what my calling is, but I want to be here for a bigger reason. I strive to be like the greatest people who have ever lived."

Imagine if everyone felt this way...

"In my mind, I've always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y'all just didn't know yet."

Every time I hear this quote I think about the Young Women Value of Divine Nature.  I wish every girl and woman thought, and really believed that she was the daughter of a King and worthy of all that comes with that title.

"Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too."

It has only been over that past few years that I really grasped forgiveness and understood for the first time, the kind of damage that hatred can do to a person's soul. It's like poison to the spirit.

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.

It's called Pride...and one of the toughest things to get rid of.  


“‎Look at your 5 closest friends. Those five friends are who you are. If you don't like who you are, then you know what you have to do...”


I've said it before, and I'll say it again... We become just like those we hang out with so choose your friends wisely.

and so, in honor of Will, 

and because I want to end on a happy note,  I give you "Parents just don't Understand" by Will Smith.  

I  have found, when it comes to really great Quotes, you can count on the Fresh Prince to give ya some real good stuff!  
I thought I'd share some of my favorite Will Smith Quotes.


"Money and success don't change people; they merely amplify what is already there."

I heard Oprah say this once.  She said if you are a jerk and you win the lottery, you become a jerk with money and spend your money on selfish things. But, if you are a good, decent person and you come into money, you give to others and you don't change who you are as a person.  


"I don't know what my calling is, but I want to be here for a bigger reason. I strive to be like the greatest people who have ever lived."

Imagine if everyone felt this way...

"In my mind, I've always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y'all just didn't know yet."

Every time I hear this quote I think about the Young Women Value of Divine Nature.  I wish every girl and woman thought, and really believed that she was the daughter of a King and worthy of all that comes with that title.

"Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too."

It has only been over that past few years that I really grasped forgiveness and understood for the first time, the kind of damage that hatred can do to a person's soul. It's like poison to the spirit.

Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.

It's called Pride...and one of the toughest things to get rid of.  


“‎Look at your 5 closest friends. Those five friends are who you are. If you don't like who you are, then you know what you have to do...”


I've said it before, and I'll say it again... We become just like those we hang out with so choose your friends wisely.

and so, in honor of Will, 

and because I want to end on a happy note,  I give you "Parents just don't Understand" by Will Smith.  

They KNOW because they DID

I wonder sometimes what I would have done if I was not born into an LDS family, always believing in God.  At different points of my life there have been times where I know I would not want to hear two missionaries knocking on my front door.  I knew I was doing things I should not be doing.  I wasn't just making bad choices as a Mormon, I was making bad choices, period.  No one wants to hear what they already know - especially from two young men who seem happy and genuinely wanting to share a message of hope.

I would like to think that when the time was right, and again I found two young men on my doorstep, I would at listen politely.  Would I say thanks, but no thanks?  or would I be touched by the spirit and want to know more?  I honestly don't know what I would have done but I can imagine it takes Prayer - asking God to help me recognize truth. Faith to consider things I hadn't thought of before.  Strength to Act on that Faith, and Courage to stand up for the things I believe in. 

I have always feel a bit envious of  those special people who are converts to the LDS faith. They have that defining moment when the spirit touches their hearts and they know what those two missionaries are saying, is true. I have listened many times as they each tell  their story. These are the people who did answer the door, did pray to know the truth, did have courage and strength.  I want to share one of those stories, told by the couple themselves. They are my neighbors, ward members and yes, they are just as friendly and kind as they seem. 

Introducing: Tom & Maggie Scott


  

You can purchase their story "It's True" at http://tomscottitstrue.blogspot.com/p/its-true.html  or visit their blog at http://tomscottitstrue.blogspot.com/

I wonder sometimes what I would have done if I was not born into an LDS family, always believing in God.  At different points of my life there have been times where I know I would not want to hear two missionaries knocking on my front door.  I knew I was doing things I should not be doing.  I wasn't just making bad choices as a Mormon, I was making bad choices, period.  No one wants to hear what they already know - especially from two young men who seem happy and genuinely wanting to share a message of hope.

I would like to think that when the time was right, and again I found two young men on my doorstep, I would at listen politely.  Would I say thanks, but no thanks?  or would I be touched by the spirit and want to know more?  I honestly don't know what I would have done but I can imagine it takes Prayer - asking God to help me recognize truth. Faith to consider things I hadn't thought of before.  Strength to Act on that Faith, and Courage to stand up for the things I believe in. 

I have always feel a bit envious of  those special people who are converts to the LDS faith. They have that defining moment when the spirit touches their hearts and they know what those two missionaries are saying, is true. I have listened many times as they each tell  their story. These are the people who did answer the door, did pray to know the truth, did have courage and strength.  I want to share one of those stories, told by the couple themselves. They are my neighbors, ward members and yes, they are just as friendly and kind as they seem. 

Introducing: Tom & Maggie Scott


  

You can purchase their story "It's True" at http://tomscottitstrue.blogspot.com/p/its-true.html  or visit their blog at http://tomscottitstrue.blogspot.com/

Forever Changed

Quotes I LOVED this week