January 31, 2012

This one's for the BIRDS


Last week, while out to dinner with friends I overheard two women talking about geese and seagulls.  It was so busy and loud that I couldn't make out much more of their conversation other than the fact that Geese and Seagulls was to be the topic of the Sunday school lesson the next day.

I was intrigued.  I haven't heard this comparison so I decided to investigate.  I googled GEESE and I am very glad I did.  We can learn a lot from our fine feathered friends.
At first glance, the Seagull is a lovely bird.  Big, white and hailed as a hero here in the great state of Utah, seagulls must think they are pretty cool. They seem wonderful. But look closer at how they live and what they do....

They feed on garbage and filth. 
If  unprotected will eat the young of their fellow seagulls. If they see a gull in the group who looks different, weather it is from a birth defect or simple because their feathers touched up against wet paint, the other seagulls will attack it and kill it.  In reality, these birds are nasty, dirty, aggressive, selfish, disgusting birds.


Canadian Geese however, are very different. 

At first glance geese are not very attractive.  They are short, not very fancy, brown, black and grey.  Simply said, they are "plain Jane's".  But look closer and you will see a remarkable, wonderful bird.  Geese never leave their young unprotected.  The male and the female both take turns in fulfilling their duties as parents and even "babysit" other young geese when needed.  Not one of the many geese in the group will migrate until all are ready and able to fly. 

When they do fly, they fly in the shape of a V with one bird leading the way.  The V formation breaks the wind, making flight easier for the others.   As soon as the lead bird begins to loose it's strength, another one is ready and steps up to take it's place.  Geese take turns leading so no one gets to tired.  The beauty of the Canadian Geese is not in what you can see, it is in the way they live their lives.


 
Fact: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an “uplift” for the bird immediately following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock has at least 71 per cent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.


Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are travelling on the thrust of one another.


Fact: When a goose flies out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone. It quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the birds immediately in front.

Lesson: If we have as much common sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others. It is harder to do something alone than together.

Fact: When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation, and another goose flies to the point position.


Lesson: It is sensible to take turns doing the hard and demanding tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent of each others skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements of gifts, talents, or resources.


Fact: The geese flying in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

Lesson: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one’s heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek. We need to make sure our honking is encouraging and not discouraging.

Fact: When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two other geese will drop out of formation with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their flock.


Lesson: If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as in good.




I have to ask myself, "What kind of bird are you? What group do you fly with?" I'm trying my best, but we all have had moments of being a seagull.  All I know for sure, is that I fly with a lot of Geese.


“We are born helpless. As soon as we are fully conscious we discover loneliness. We need others physically, emotionally, and intellectually. We need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves.”

― C.S. Lewis


January 29, 2012

Brushstrokes

Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening

is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls.

No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable.

But just as the yellow and gold and brown strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things

can lead to significant spiritual results.

January 27, 2012

Valentine Zombie

I love the holiday's as much as the next gal but seriously,
I am barely getting over the fact that Christmas came and went without any snow.  How can I be expected to jump on the band wagon and go all out for Valentine's Day before we are finished with January?! 
It's just not right.


How long was it before the Valentine's Day items were on display and for sale at the stores and shops around town?  The malls and even the schools began to join in. I am pretty sure the paper hearts went up on the walls of these businesses before Santa and his cardboard reindeer had made their way into storage. 

It drives me crazy because my Christmas tree is still up (yeah, yeah, I'm a slacker) and going grocery shopping is like a big guilt trip. Sure, I would love my home to look like the pictures in Martha Stewart, February Edition.  Who wouldn't?  But please don't make me feel like it has to happen ASAP!  Chill the crap out Sellers of Red & White merchandise!  I am still processing Christmas and New Years messes!


  You can't avoid the hype... It's everywhere and soon my mind can't take anymore!

Every stuffed bear holding a heart seems to be whispering;

 "Hey, we know you still have that tree up.... You terrible homemaker...you must buy only pink and red items for the rest of the week.....Look, shiny red napkin holders....OH, you must have one of these....Aren't we cute and fluffy and by the way, all the other moms use this kind of dish soap...we come with a free heart key chain....."

(true story.....they are such mean bears)

 Every year it gets worse.  We are visually assaulted with pressure to join the crowd and purchase supplies as soon as possible for the next important celebration! 
Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy making heart shaped cookies and stuffing little notes in my children's pockets but not in January! I refuse to worry about Valentine's Day until February.

That's it, this year I am making a stand.

I will publicly celebrate how much I LOVE my sweet hubby and my amazing kids with cards and heart shaped edibles only on the appropriate day. 
This is my protest.

HA! take that!!


Having said that, I did have a brief moment today when I heard a song and was tempted to break out the red decorations.  Instead, I will share the silly but SERIOUSLY awesome song and that will keep me satisfied until next week.  I must warn you.... this is no ordinary love song. I prefer Zombies to mean ole' bears any day.  I know that's a bit different,
but that's probably why I LOVE
"The Zombie Song"
have a listen



Wasn't that ROMANTIC?!
Yeah, I knew you 'd like it. 


I'm off now to take down the tree.


January 26, 2012

Filming again today. Of course, things couldn't just go smoothly

My day was nothing like I had planned on.


-Stayed up way to late last night

-Finally fell asleep sometime after 4:30am

-Up at 7 and was informed about a forgotten field trip at school

-Spent an hour in the car tracking down items for school trip

-Ran kids to school & work

-Quick trip to grocery store


-Cleaned the kitchen & put in a load of laundry
-Jumped in the shower

-Started to blow dry hair
-Power went out in the entire neighborhood

-Got dressed and ready in the semi dark house
-Got in the car but no power meant the garage door wouldn't go up

-Took forever to get the door up and the car out
-While we were working on the garage door, the dog went rouge

-Searched the neighborhood and found rouge dog two blocks down
-yelled at dog

-Picked up Hubby & daughter
-Met the crew at Malawi's Pizza

-Had Yummy lunch with great guys
-Filmed Hubby & I, walking outside in the rain

-Got a text from child on School trip saying the bus had crashed

-Had mini panic attack

-found out he was not on the bus at the time
-panic attack went away

-Waited a bit for the rain to die down
-Filmed us walking our naughty dog

-Walked hand in hand with my hubby down the trails at Riverwoods
-kept laughing, walking and kept getting rained on

-My hair was so wet, it would have been a waste to blow dry it
-Got a call from home saying our power was back on

-Headed back to the house
-Filmed random stuff like the family doing chores

-Filmed me hugging Brian
-Child arrived home safely from trip

-Hubby back to work, kids off with friends

-Filmed my final interview segment

-Filmed random shots around the house

-Borrowed yearbooks from my cute neighbor

-Last few shots from high school yearbooks

-Waved goodbye to the guys


-That's a wrap! Yes, it's another day of action packed fun at the Haskell home!

-Proud of what we have completed

-No more filming left! My part is done.

-I need a nap.

January 24, 2012

Quotes

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January 23, 2012

Finding Beauty

Our assignment was to write about something we find beautiful, which is not appealing to everyone.  Can we find beauty in things like death, pain, sadness or hurt?  Our professor said, "Tell me about finding beauty where others see none" and  I instantly thought of my day at the Provo courthouse about a year ago.


I had been able to observe a few cases where domestic violence was a factor and a petition for a restraining order had been filed. I am a victim advocate and a survivor of abuse myself so I know how hard it is to ask for and receive help in these types of situations. During a break I needed to make a phone call and so the bailiff ushered me into a semi-private room with a few public phones. Not long after I made my call a woman, who I had just seen in the courtroom, came in and sat down next to me. She was a bit of a mess. Her hair was messy but pulled back in an elastic band and she had bruising on her face. Her arm was in a sling and although she had a smile on her face, she cried as she spoke to the person on the other end of the phone.


I was waiting for someone to call me back so I sat there listening to the woman next to me as she called her daughter. She explained to her daughter that the judge had granted the restraining order and that now they would be safe. Then I heard her say, “If this is what it took to keep you safe, a week in the hospital was worth it.” I then looked closer. The gray lines on her left arm where tape had left a mark from where the needle from her IV had been taped down.


When she hung up the phone I asked her if she was okay and 15 minutes later we had exchanged numbers. This woman was ten years younger than me but looked older. Against the doctors wishes, had checked herself out of the hospital. She was in court to testify in person against her ex husband. He had been abusive for years but never before had she ended up being hospitalized. She had a broken arm and a broken collarbone. She looked frail and broken but that was only on the outside. On the inside, this woman was stronger than you could imagine. She told me that after years of abuse and being emotionally broken, she just snapped when she woke up in the hospital. She said that all of a sudden she felt determined to not be a victim anymore. She felt powerful and determined.


The woman I saw, who walked into the courtroom that day looked a mess. The woman, who hugged me and smiled as she walked out of the courthouse that day, was strong and determined. She saw happiness in her future. You could see it in her face as she walked by, head held high.

And to me, it was beautiful.




I had it all mapped out in front of me,

Knew just where I wanted to go;

But life decided to change my plans,

And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

 

I knew there was no way over it,

So I searched for a way around;

Brokenhearted I started climbin',

And at the top I found...
 
Every fear, every doubt,

All the pain I went through;

Was the price that I paid to see this view;

And now that I'm here I would never trade...
 
The grace that I feel,

And the faith that I find;

Through the bitter-sweet tears,

And the sleepless nights;

 

I used to pray he'd take it all away,

But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

 

I never dreamed my heart would make it,

I thought about turning around;

But heaven has shown me miracles,

I never would have seen from the ground.
 
Now I take the rain with the sunshine,

Cause there's one thing that I know;

He picks up the pieces,

Along each broken road.

 

Every fear, every doubt,

All the pain I went through;

Was the price that I paid to see this view;

And now that I'm here I would never trade...

 

The grace that I feel,

And the faith that I find;

Through the bitter-sweet tears,

And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,

But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.
I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,

And the faith that I find;

Through the bitter-sweet tears,

And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,

But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.









January 22, 2012

Target Practice

 Josh bought his gun for the Police Academy last week. 

 
Grandpa brought a few of his guns and we had a great time shooting targets out by Saratoga Springs.  The boys had a really good time.



 
Lindsey turned out to be a really good shot!







What a fun day!
So proud of Joshua.  He's going to be an awesome Police Officer.

Quotes with HEART

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Be strong and have strength of heart. Do not be afraid or shake with fear because of them. For the Lord your God is the One Who goes with you. He will be faithful to you. He will not leave you alone.

  - Deuteronomy 31:6




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January 19, 2012

Seeing is Believing? Not always.

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A couple of days ago,when my son Jared and I were in the car on our way to my daughter's apartment we had a bit of a scary moment.  We were going to pick her up to run a few errands.  As I turned onto State Street I saw my oldest son, Josh.  I waved hello but I wasn't sure if he saw us so I slowed down and as he pulled behind us I honked and waved again. 

I said "Jared, wave hi to Josh". 
He looked back...
He started to wave....
He said "uh, mom.....that's not Josh."

Then there was about 20 seconds of:  "yes it is", "no it Is NOT!",  "YES it is!!"  ending in

"Mom, you are honking and waving at a stranger". 

I looked again in my rear view mirror.  I could have sworn that was Joshua but now I couldn't see well enough to be sure. Whoever was in the white truck behind me had been signaling to turn a different direction, but after all the crazy waving and honking, this guy was now following us. It was when he followed us into my daughter's apartment complex that we started to panic. 

Jared kept saying "He's still following us!, don't stop the car!" Jared was freaking out a bit, which was making me freak out a bit, which made me go faster.  I was going to try and lose this guy. 

Lindsey was outside waiting for us but instead of a ride, she got to watch as Jared & I (followed by a white truck)  zoomed right past her. 

Somehow I missed the final turn out of the parking lot, ending up in a small dead end.  Jared yelled "duck down!"   We were scrunched down when my cell phone rang.  It was Josh, and all he said was, "What on earth is going on?!"  Jared and I slowly sat back up. 

There, two stalls down from us was Josh, in his white truck, and he looked totally confused.  Jared and I burst into laughter and tried to explain.  Josh didn't find this as funny as we did and that made us laugh even harder. Lindsey had walked over to where we were by now and all hope of not laughing left when we saw the look on her face.   Oh...my....goodness..... too funny!

Why did I doubt what I had seen with my own eyes?  I'll tell you why....  It's because my eyes have been wrong before.  My friends and I were at a dance once when I noticed my boyfriend on the other side of the dance floor.  Some girl was all over him.  I walked over to where they were, said "excuse me", stepped in between them, glared at the girl and and planted a huge kiss on my guy.  He kissed me back.  It was magical.  It was one of the best kisses I've ever had.  It was not my boyfriend. 

My eyes had deceived me.  I looked at him again.  He was smiling, his girlfriend was in shock and I was embarrassed.  Great kiss though.  Embarrassed? YES.  Sorry?  NO. 

January 17, 2012

Quotes I loved this week

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January 15, 2012

New Year's resolution #2 - Do No Harm

I've been working on and planning a post about single mothers for quite some time now.  I can relate to their situations, their trials and also the determination it takes to do the job of two parents.  I talked with a few of my single mother  friends who are struggling with the demands of raising children alone, without support. I am amazed at their strength.  I had 3 out of the 4 women's stories, and then finally it was time to talk with one last single mom.  I had never met her before, but we had talked a bit online.  I instantly liked her and realized we had a lot in common.  That was how I felt as I was driving to meet her. (lets call her #4)  By the time I got home, I knew the next story I wanted to write, would not be about single mothers. 


Instead, this post is about recognizing what the intent is behind everything we do, and taking the time to think through the consequences of our choices before we make them.  This post is about my goal for 2012, which is to never do or say anything, intentional or unintentional, that could hurt someone.  It sounds easy enough, right?  Well, not always. 


For example, I had really good intentions when a friend I had not been in touch with in many years, reconnected.  He had quite a story to tell and soon, he had asked for help with a legal problem.   He suggested her as one of the single moms to talk to and so I contacted her in an email.  The problem was that as I gradually learned more about my friend, I realized his intentions toward her were far from ideal.  He had very specific ulterior motives and I quickly came to understand that I was just a pawn in his ultimate goal which was to gain full custody of their child.  He wanted me to let him know if #4 said anything he could use in court.  He was up to all sorts mischief.  Not much had changed over all these years except he became more skilled at being a jerk.


I really felt for single mom #4 and hoped to give her a little bit of a heads up.  I chose to meet her, keep what we talked about between us, and then my friend could just deal with it.  This young mother and I talked for about two hours.  We had more in common than I had imagined.  We hugged good-bye and I walked to my car thinking about what I was going to write about her.  She has a great attitude and says she is happy with her life.  As single mothers go, she is one of the lucky ones.  She left and ended up talking with this friend of mine after just a few minutes of us parting ways.

It had been almost 30 minutes since I had left my meeting with #4 when I got a very angry phone call from my "friend".  He was not happy and I felt so bad for #4.   There are many things he said and did that she is unaware of.   He is bad news and we have not spoken since.  I should have listened to my instincts about this guy because she has no idea what he's up to.  By the time I hung up the phone, I remembered why I cut ties with him long ago.  Some people just dont change.  Ever.  Some get worse, like this guy.... But that's another story.
 The point is this:  I had the very best of intentions but once I figured out the whole story, and learned a bit more, I wanted no part of doing anything that could harm another, even if it is indirectly.



I refuse to do anything that could possibly affect someone in a negative way.  Real, friends wouldn't put me in that position.  And then it hit me..... I guess we were never friends in the first place.  Lesson Learned....Never be an accomplice in hurting someone else.  Never.  We all enough problems of our own, we don't need to get caught up in someone else's issues.  



What about the times when you feel justified in striking back at a person who has attacked you?  I had delt with "doing no harm" unintentionally, and  now  I had to honestly ask myself if I was able to "Do No Harm" when I believed my actions were more than justified.   I have had problems with a specific troubled girl for quite some time now.  I understand that this person isn't well, but that doesn't excuse their behavior.  I have had enough.  Lot's of family members have had enough, and I was done taking it.  I very, very badly wanted to this person , to feel just a bit of the pain they constantly heap on my family members. 


Usually dealing with people like this is the equivalent of a tall person, arm outs stretched,  holding back an angry child by the forehead.   No matter how long or how hard they swing at me, they can't seem to touch me because I am bigger and stronger than they are.  It's not to hard to ignore the punches that never actually hit me but, having said this, it does get very annoying and tiring.  Every once in a while, when I am tired and have to switch arms, this person gets in a lucky shot.  I hate when that happens.


The lucky shot this time, was by email and after holding back this angry child for two years, I had had enough. I wanted to punch back.  I started typing a reply to their email.  I wasn't going to hold back my feelings anymore.  I decided to tell this person exactly what I thought of them.  In this email, I said what I have wanted to say for years now and when I was done, I had filled 5 pages.  Five pages of truthful but mean words.  I was  reading the email I was about to send, but by the time I reached the end of page 2, had decided not to send it.
  It was time to remind myself.....What was my goal again??  Oh yes, do no harm....crap.  It all comes down to intent.  I completely intended to hurt this persons feelings.  I was about to break resolution #2.  I had to admit my goal to "Do No Harm" also  includes people I think deserve a bit of Karma.   How could I purposefully try to hurt someones feelings, justified or not? 


If I am going to keep that New Years resolution, I need to find a new way of looking at things.  I need to imagine the angry children throwing punches, as North Korea. 

The people in North Korea are living in a very different reality than the rest of the world.  They believe things that the rest of the world know not to be true.  Although America won the Korean War in 1953, the people in South Koreans think that they not only won the war, but are still fighting us.  It's unbelievable that people live this way. 

So when the Korean people insult or taunt America, and brag about winning the war, we just laugh and shake our heads and feel bad for them.  It's sad to think people still live under such conditions and are unable to see the world as it really is.  It's pointless to try and respond because it's just not worth the effort and it will do no good at all.  I just have to let them live there in their depressing world and hope someday they get to experience what it is like out in the real world.  Why engage in a battle of wits with anyone whom is oblivious?  It's a waste of time and effort.   I am America, they are North Korea.  Enough said.



January 13, 2012

50 Numbers

After the Christmas break, I was looking forward to getting back into the school routine at UVU.  I have 5 classes right now and need to pick one class to drop.  Not sure which class it will be yet, but I do know it wont be  writing 1010H.   With out meaning to, my daughter and I ended up in the same class. 

The assignment given on the first day of class was to write 50 different "subtotals" for our life.  For example, one guy wrote "90 - the number of days I have lived under water".  He was in the US Navy and had been stationed aboard a submarine.  What would your numbers be?

Here's my list:


35 – Minutes I have spent stuck in a car wash


15 – age when I was sent to live in Utah with grandparents

4 - number of children I have

22 – age of my oldest son


8 – days in hospital after falling off second story building

3 – pins in my feet

3 – countries lived in


1 – number of dead bodies I have eaten lunch with


42 – age when I started college


19 – years old I was when I became a mom


15 – number of credit hours I am taking this semester


19 – glasses of diet coke consumed in an average week


3 – number of living grandparents


5 – number of pillows I sleep with


4 – times I was a witness in a court case


25 – number of hours it took to travel to New Zealand


1 – number of doors in my entire house when I was 18


7 – numbers of fans in my home


11 – number of times I’ve had surgery


1 – number of times I’ve lost the police in a car chase


7 – number of times I’ve been pregnant


2 – number of times I flew off the back of a treadmill because I was laughing to hard


1544 – number songs on my mp3


6 – number of computers I’ve owned at one time


2 – number of times I’ve been to Disneyland


1 – number of times I’ve touched a snake


0 – number of times I’ve seen “The Office”


23 – Hours it took me to read the final Harry Potter Book


50 – Number of dollars I won in Las Vegas at the nickel slots


9 – Number of buttons that were undone on the back of my skirt when I bent over


20ish – Number of women I unintentionally “mooned” at church


3 – Number of times I was pulled over by the same policeman in one night


75 – dollars I paid for the strapless prom dress I was wearing when I was pulled over


0—number of tickets I got that night


5 – Car accidents I have been in


1,976 --- Number of times I have laughed when it wasn’t really appropriate


2 – Consecutive years I ever attended one school


29 – homes I have lived in


12 – books I have read about King Henry VIII


4 – letters in my name


3 – times I officially claim to have lost the game Monopoly


16 – age I was when I met my husband


13 – age I first drove a car


12 – number of times I’ve been to girls camp


6 – number of times I’ve faked “cramps” to avoid hiking at girls camp


5 – number of hair colors I’ve had


18,302 – number of visits in the last year to my blog


7 – number of times an article/story I wrote has been published


1 – number of times I met, confused & most likely worried Larry King

12 - nieces & nephews




https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Z1jVcmDH43Y#!