December 15, 2012

Women - Three, Two, One, Bypass!

Carnie Wilson weight loss
I know THREE women who have had Gastric Bypass surgery.  ONE is doing great and is an inspiration to many.  This post is about the other TWO, who ended up leaving their husbands.  Both women started off with the best of intentions but around the year mark, both began doing things that were out of character.  Family and friends were surprised, silent but still supportive.  Was this sort of thing to be expected?   It seemed like the better the felt about themselves, the more they wanted to show it off.  Specifically showing other men.   The post surgery women explained, that they wanted to experience the things that heavier women/girls miss out on - and because no one imagined - not for even a single second - what staying silent would lead to.  No one realized there was a problem until the problem was painfully obvious.  

It was really hard to watch the families of these now skinnier women, as caring mothers, sisters and wives's turned selfish.   In my humble opinion, feeling that much self esteem is like a drug - and seeking out the attention of men was how they fed the addiction.  And NO ONE makes good decisions when they are high. 

Suddenly the husbands who had been by their side for years - well, those guys were no longer good enough. I remember it clearly, as if it were yesterday, "I wouldn't have married him back then if I looked like I do now. I can get better."  My friend....had she lost her damn mind?!  The answer is yes.  Yes. She. Had.

There were TWO divorce's.  It was a full on flirt-fest where ever those two went.  It was unbelievable. Skirts got shorter. Hair was bleached lighter.  Necklines sunk lower and  common sense was replaced by a raised credit limit at Victoria's Secret.  But that's not all....  Guys who were obviously damaged goods, single for a reason, a player or your basic over-all idiot - look just fine to the woman under the influence.  I imagine it's a bit like wearing Beer Goggles   When my son was in the Police Academy he got to wear those special goggles and then tried to walk the straight yellow line in front of him.  He tried and tried but it was almost impossible.  The class laughed and laughed as each trainee took his or her turn.  I laughed when I saw the photos.  It was funny to see my son struggle with something so basic and easy as walking a straight line.  Why would anyone think they could drive, or much less walk safely under those conditions?!  Because they are intoxicated,  influenced by their drug of choice.  

The problem is that eventually, no matter what, you will have to detox.  Those women will feel the pain of withdrawals and finally realize what they lost in the process.  For both those women I know, by the time they realized - it was too late.  

I know there are plenty of wonderful stories of gastric bypass, with praiseworthy results from all concerned. I'm sure this sort of thing is rare, but maybe it would have helped if someone told them this sort of thing was possible.  When girlfriends get together for a night on the town, we keep a close eye on the friend who just had a painful break-up & the friend who without fail, seems to always find the biggest weirdo in the club and the girl who always has to much to drink.  It's our job - as family and friends - to not let them do anything really stupid.  At least we should TRY.  

Maybe if before surgery, the patients & their loved ones were given a game plan... if they knew what to look out for...  Things could have been handled quite differently.   Is this sort of thing ever unavoidable?  Divorce is one thing but, Divorce due to drastic lifestyle changes and one spouse thinking he/she is "all that, and a bag of chips" is quite another. 

1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure how I missed this post, but I had someone visit from your site and saw that you wrote about it. Thank you for mentioning me, and showing that gastric bypass can be an amazing opportunity to change lives.

    Unfortunately, transfer addictions are very common in the weight loss surgery community. Especially alcohol. My heart aches for so many of my friends in my surgery support groups who are drowning their sorrows and pains in booze. The "leave your spouse" thing is very common. I have two very close WLS friends who are waiting for their divorces to be finalized right now. So many people look at gastric bypass as a way to "get hot" again. For me it was really about getting my multiple comorbidities under control, and the physical appearance is just a perk. There is a high to getting those compliments, but I try to keep it in perspective.