My head was spinning. At first, all I could think was that I had to warn my friends and neighbors. We have lots of kids in the area and the thought of not knowing was scary. I couldn't decide what to do. I knew this family. I knew the wife and I've met their children. They had just moved here two months ago and I began to feel sorry for the wife. I read over the details again. He was added to the sex offender list 6 years ago. Maybe the family moved, hoping for a fresh start. I imagined how it horrible it must feel to know the entire neighborhood knows your business - judging you - and your family. Will no one let their kids play or be friends with the offender's children? Maybe he's had all kinds of counseling and maybe he believes he can change. All I know is that research shows that most sex offenders keep offending in one way or another. That's why the Sex Offender Registry was started in the first place.
I have to admit my attitude right now is this:
They may feel judged and uncomfortable...but that's NOT my problem. I bet his victims would rather feel"judged and uncomfortable" than feeling Violated. I don't want my children anywhere near that family. I dont want any children put in harms way. I think every mom needs to know about the sex offender living down the street. If that makes things tough for the sex offender's family, I'm sorry but I really don't care. Is that harsh? No...Better safe than sorry.

Spreading the word is only smart. How aggressively to spread? All dependent on certain factors. SPREADING the word is NOT dependent- it's necessity.
ReplyDeleteThe spouse of a convicted offender may be a victim also-just by going through the public humiliation. Other times spouses shut their eyes and don't care.
Innocent spouses and kids should not be ostracized because they didn't commit the crime. BUT... extreme caution and should be taken to keep children/adolescents away from isolated or close contact. That's just a consequence of very serious behaviors/crimes- and is to be expected.
New family rules should be implemented, a clear understanding of the issue and the offender should be explained appropriately according to age.
When my children were young, I printed out a collage of registered sex offenders within 5 mi. of my house & kids school, & posted it on a bulletin board next to a door. I talked to them & showed them each picture so they knew who to stay away from.
This is simply responsible & protecting them. It makes sense that the closer the physical distance is to a perpetrator- the more we as parents should become vigilant, making sure our kids know who to stay away from, and the "potential" dangers.
This is by no means a judgment call suggesting I would know whether a person has truly changed.
However, there have been enormous amounts of research done on sex offenders that present extremely compelling evidence that the vast majority of "caught" perpetrators are not first timers and continue to have certain affinities, may times (but not all)recommit the same crime.
Familiarity and friendliness is a reason to be decent to other human beings.
It is NOT a reason to overlook and discount very serious crimes- Do you think child groomers succeed as the result of scaring children to death? NO....... on the contrary- their behaviors are psychologically brilliant because they elicit enough trust from a child to get him/her to agree to do something that they can't really comprehend until a lifetime of damage has been done. Groomers also elicit trust from mothers (mostly single) to get to her child.
All the more reason to be cautious.
Maybe nothing would ever happen and maybe the person has truly changed. That is fantastic. But others can't truly know another persons heart/intentions- is this a good enough reason to take a chance with kids?
Again, this is NOT a judgement call- it's merely being a responsible parent first and foremost.
There's no reason to be hostile and hateful towards offenders who haven't harmed you personally and aren't making public menaces of themselves- that just creates self-inflicted bitterness and misery.
However, those who bury their head in the sand, trying to protect convicted perpetrators, are doing it at the "possible" expense of their children- then they become victims.
A child's safety should ALWAYS be priority over any perpetrator/family's potential embarrassment.
If someone wants to use "Forgiveness" as an excuse to let their guard down concerning the safety of kids/adolescents-realize that there is a difference between forgiveness and trust. Remember Elizabeth Smart? She completely forgave her offender- does she trust him? NAW...
Forgiveness has to do with the past, Trust has to do with the present and future. NOT the same thing.
Just be responsible when it comes to children especially.