My Mother a Sex Trafficker?
Technically, yes.
- 759 reads
Over the past few years I have been sharing my story with the world. I’ve talked about my experiences with abuse in all shapes and forms, domestic violence, childhood trauma, special needs parents, and most recently, I wrote about my mother and how she set up some of the worst moments of my life. My mother has sent me into situations where I was abused and she got things like a sofa, a bill paid or fees dropped and it all began at the tender age of 12.
Last year I was approached by a wonderful organization called Child Rescue. They are trying to stop human trafficking right here in America by getting people informed of what is going on in their own backyards, that it is okay to speak up and be a voice of strength to others. I was the subject of one of the profiles they filmed a few months ago. Child Rescue wanted to show other girls/women out there that it is possible to get past and move on from being victimized. Life can still be amazing. We can still find love in the arms of a good man. We can still make ourselves a life worth living. It is never to late to live happily ever after.
That was my short 2 minute message and although I tried a few times to talk with my mother about doing the profile and I wanted to give her one last chance to explain herself or her actions but she refused. The film was just about ready to come out when my dear estranged mother and my brother-in-law decided to go after Child Rescue. They did not say a word when, over a year ago, I began to post the same stories about my life on my blog, or when they were published on other sites like BlogHer. There is not just one incident, there are a few times my mother betrayed me in horrific ways. But this is not about the facts, my telling the truth or doing what is right and bringing a voice to a worthy cause. I believe my mother and those assisting her see dollar signs. I believe if they were challenging the facts, they would have come after me personally long ago, but they are not doing that. They have chosen to threaten all kinds of retaliation including pricey lawsuits, and have declared that they will seek damages against these wonderful people who just wanted to be a force for good. They are trying to bully Child Rescue.
I have no doubt my mother is not happy to be compared to sex traffickers but the truth is that anyone who trades goods, services or money in return for the sexual exploitation of another is considered a trafficker. Sometimes the truth hurts and it makes us mad. Mad and hurt, like when I found out the truth about the time I was sent by my mother to be with a man when she knew had a thing for her twelve year old daughter, in return for a sofa set. Yeah, that kind of mad, that kind of hurt. Except mine is justified, and I will not pretend it didn't happen. I didn't get mad and call attorney's, I got mad and decided to do what I can to make sure no other daughters, feel that kind of hurt.
Although I, and countless others can back up and support every word I said, the cost of fighting their accusers in court is a big deal. I don’t want the money that should be spent on helping victims and educating women and children to go to an attorney, fighting a ridiculous charge which can easily be proven false.
Maybe if Child Rescue realized just how much support they have from women everywhere, they will call the bullies bluff. The truth of the matter is that this sort of bullying is just like the way young women are threatened into sex trafficking. In most cases of abuse, girls are threatened and scared of talking. They lose their power to fight back with every muffled cry for help.
Help me send Child Rescue support in fighting the bullies of the world. Join me in saying that we will not be bullied into silence. We will strap on our armor because we are ready to fight if necessary. Help me send a message of hope, strength and support to all the victims out there. Supporting someone or something, basically means saying “Don’t be afraid, I’ve got your back”. I think it’s time we say the same thing right back to them…. “Child Rescue, don’t back down. We’ve got your back.”
Please comment below or leave your name so I can pass your voice of support to the amazing people at Child Rescue. Check out Child Rescue on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ChildRescue or pass this along to your friends and family and lets get the word out that we will not sit back and do nothing. We will do what it takes to stop Human Trafficking. And we will NOT be bullied.
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momofgirz
As a mother myself I would have gone straight to my daughter after her claims. If these things are not true, wouldn't she be shocked and confussed and concerned about her daughter and why she saying such things? But your mother files a lawsuit? My husband is an attorney and he told me proving defemation is extremely hard and rarely done. Hang in there - call their bluff.
simplyjune
momofgirz Thank you for your support of Child Rescue. I know they have read this and appreciate it.
yoohoothere
It seems Child Rescue would have predicted this kind of reaction with the type of publicity this is and have something in place to handle this type of scenario, on both sides. Granted, they need to be certain that an angry child, or someone with an agenda, for any number of reasons, isn't just using this platform for revenge, but if there is sufficient evidence, and/or if they aren't using pictures of, or full names of the accused (unless found guilty by law) they should not allow themselves to be bullied. If they do, frankly they are doing what you were forced to do as a child- back down, shut up and deal with whatever was inflicted on you.
It would contradict Child Rescue's goal in helping sexual abuse victims feel safe enough to tell their story if THEY don't even feel safe enough to publicize it- with guidelines of course. Manipulation and threats are classic behaviors of child perpetrators and it seems this behavior continues.
This is just a small obstacle, and frankly it may even turn into a stepping stone in the long run, justifying your position even more. It seems the "threats" have already generated more publicity than they expected.
You're amazing and I believe it's your calling and mission to be a strong, vocal advocate for victims. This event won't stop you- it'll only make you stronger and make you work harder, just like you're doing now.
simplyjune
yoohoothere Child Rescue is still releasing the video. The question was should they re-edit the film to make my mother sound like she didn't do anything to me, or should they just run it as it is and then stand their ground. I think we should stand, but stand together.in support of Child Rescue.
:)Thanks for your comments, Ms.Yoohoothere!
yoohoothere
simplyjune
I was afraid they were dropping the whole thing! I'm glad they're not, they should absolutely NOT edit it! If they edit it, I don't think it'll have the same impact.
After all, victims are MOST afraid to tell on parents and other close family members who inflict this pain, because those sick individuals are the ones who also feed, house and clothe their victims.
Most underage victims are clueless as to what their rights are and believe they will be abandoned and homeless, literally living on the street if they tell. That's a terrifying thought for an emotionally damaged child.
Other victims need to see that THEY have rights and that they are allowed to open their mouth against those closest to them, because as you know, the majority of underage victims of sexual abuse are sexually molested by a friend of the family or another family member- rarely a stranger.
If word gets out that other people are speaking up, this tends to have a ripple effect and likely could help someone else be strong enough to open up.
Not many people can, or want to stand alone on an issue so personally intrusive and sensitive because of fear of isolation, or being shunned. You are the minority in bravery. That's why great leaders like yourself are absolutely necessary in getting these dirty little secrets out in the open. The more people who take a stand and get in the faces of the American people demanding a STOP to this horrible crime, the more society can help victims.
Generally people think that if they ignore it, because it's so hideous and ugly, that it will just go away. Yes, decent people CAN'T think about the details of this kind of crime for long because it's horrific and goes against nature. But what they don't realize is that by closing their eyes and covering their ears to it, it only feeds the ugly monster, making it grow significantly larger each generation.
A majority of children who are victimized by sexual abuse have had their emotional well-being stripped from them. They generally do not grow up to be emotionally healthy adults, and as a result, turn to unhealthy lifestyles, and relationships. AND THE CYCLE CONTINUES- AT A FASTER RATE.
People need to pull their heads out of the sand and actually THINK in detail of these crimes and get furious! Because those details that are only in their MINDS are being CARRIED OUT on INNOCENT victims!
No way should that video be edited.
I say NO to protecting the perpetrators! I SUPPORT Child Rescue in proceeding as is.
Besides having raised 5 children of my own that I "overprotected" from anything that could have been a potential, or could be related in any way to sexual abuse, teaching them safety rules that many parents would be afraid to teach kids, and also learning so many graphic, horrible details in some of my college courses the last few semesters about human sex trafficking and child sexual abuse, I am livid about the hush hush that surrounds this issue.
Sorry about my rant, this topic makes my blood boil.
yoohoothere
simplyjune In some of my classes we talked about parents, like your mother, who were completely aware of their own flesh and blood being sexually molested, even by the other biological parent- and never doing or saying anything about it. Just allowing it to happen, not even trying to protect their child. I simply cannot wrap my brain around that.
What I learned about sex trafficking here in the United States blew me away. I knew it was happening outside of the U.S. but had no clue how rampant, and alive it is here in our own country, in our own town even.
A Police officer from Orem, who works undercover on the net to catch predators HERE IN UTAH COUNTY presented in one of our classes. Unbelievable what happens here in Happy Valley. Parents, know where your children are, and get educated on who, what, where and how sexual abuse happens. It's a psychological game that you and your kids don't know you're/they're involved in until it's too late.
You have to find the balance between trusting people and not trusting them too much at the same time.
Obviously we can't live with a suspicious eye on everyone we come into contact with, that's not right and it would make us crazy, but we CAN be WISE and be CAREFUL, even with NICE people. NICE is also used as a tool of manipulation.
Be wise parents.
user123
I assume names are confidential? if no names are used, where is the defamation? If the accused party is upset, they should not attack the messenger / a reputable cause. This situation is not about THEM.... it is about getting the word out there and helping children. Shame on them for making a bigger deal than necessary simply due to a guilty conscience. I doubt that there is any legal case, anyway.
Call their bluff. I doubt that if they are so upset that they are really willing to make this even more public and spread their "reputation" to more people. If they were smart, they would just leave it alone and move on unless they are willing to answer some difficult questions.
Hang in there, stick it through.
the.me.i.be
thank you for having the courage to let Child Rescue tell your story. There are many more untold stories (my friend was trafficked from Africa to USA as a child). There are children who are going through this right now. Please don't back down.
simplyjune
the.me.i.be So many people have no idea trafficking takes place right in our own towns. Getting educated is so important. Thanks for your support :)
simplyjune
hopydaze Child Rescue is trying to do a wonderful thing here and I am honored to have been even a small part of it. Thanks!
WhySoSerious
"The guilty take the truth to be hard." I wonder if people realize that to be forgiven of something, they need to first acknowledge their problem. Lies will not stand, and intimidation will not stand. Don't let Child Rescue be bullied because somebody doesn't like to hear the truth. They are an organization that victims can turn to when there isn't anybody else to turn to.
It infuriates me to hear that they are being targeted by somebody like this, almost as much as it infuriates me that the abuse happened in the first place. No child should ever hear, "Don't you dare tell anybody about this!" and Child Rescue should not have to hear it either. I'm with you on this.
simplyjune
WhySoSerious Couldn't have said it better myself. Your comment made me cry. It's kind of strange. When I found out someone was trying to stop my story from being published, and when I found out it was my mother, for just a short moment I felt victimized all over again. Thank you for saying what I couldn't quite express in that moment. Awesome!
ktapahe
As a former victim of sexual abuse, I absolutely support what you're doing. When my dad was abusing me, I couldn't get the help I needed. My mom was a victim herself and unable to help me. Reaching out to a school counselor for help led to more complications and they ultimately returned me to my home to more abuse. Children don't have a voice or the power to get out of the abuse themselves. We need to help them!!
simplyjune
ktapahe I'm so sorry to hear about your abuse at the hands of your father. Not many victims know what it is like to have your parent be the person who hurts you. It still hurts but now its that hurt that fuels the strength to stand up and say we will not be silent any longer. Thanks for your kind and brave comment.
You are so absolutely doing the right thing. Child Rescue so needs to have it be heard. It is people like you that make the world better, one person at a time. Thanks June.
ReplyDeleteshame on you for doing this to your poor mother. She a good lady that deserves your respect. We pray for you to make things right with her.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was at a wilderness survival camp, there was a sign posted next to a viney branch of poison ivy. It said, "Respect this plant". Near to it was a picture of jewelweed with a sign, "Appreciate and give thanks for this." Jewelweed is an antidote to poison ivy.
DeleteNot sure how one would go about "[making] things right" with someone who won't acknowledge the existence of the other person.
Respect. That's rich. Calling what that woman was accessory to "good" is merely candy-coating the poison ivy. Passing out "shame" is not the antidote to the poison. It's just another poison. It should be treated with the same "respect".
The antidotes are Truth and God's love. Keep your chin up, June. "You [may] be the change you wish to see in the world."
Anyone who thinks a mother who knowingly loans her daughter to a pedophile and rapist for ANY reason is NOT A GOOD WOMAN by ANY MEANS!
DeleteWhat kind of person would say such a thing? Anonymous- who taught you that you should RESPECT and call GOOD a mother who would willfully trade the forced RAPE of her child for anything??
It's entirely possible that you learned such a twisted concept of the meaning of Respect and Good as the result of your own hidden issues- because a GOOD RESPECTABLE mother would fight to the death to prevent such tragic crimes from befalling her babies.
There's help out there for those who can acknowledge this kind of irrational thinking, and I encourage you to seek it before you damage your own offspring with that kind of teaching and completely undeserved loyalty.
How dare you even post here Ms. Chicken Anonymous? Has your mother taken money for someone to rape you? You call that being a good mother? Have you been set up by the very people you trusted to keep you safe? Have you had to deal with the fallout of sexual abuse caused by your parent your whole life? Predatory people always act charming to those who can benefit them. It's too bad you have fallen for the b.s.
DeleteWish I were as able to put things into writing half as well as yoohoothere and you, June, but know that I am angry and terribly saddened that this still goes on under our noses.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you!