You will know me by the company I keep

Last year was life changing for me in many ways.  After  30+  years of allowing a toxic person/persons to infect my life, things came to an ugly and very eye-opening head.  On this occasion I had obvious signs of the damage done but usually we cant see how toxic people bruise our spirits.  

What I now see as a trial that ended up being a blessing , sure did NOT feel like a blessing at the time!  I leaned on my amazing friends and family and after lots of tears, confusion and frustration, I learned a lot.  After months of riding a crazy roller coaster of emotions, I was finally able to stop and refocus on the eternal perspective.  I remembered who I  am, what kind of woman I want to be and, what it takes to become that woman. 

Last Christmas time a dear friend of mine shared an experience he had with me.  He was a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir at the time.  He said to me,  The greatest compliment I have ever been paid was by one of my church leaders (general authority) I had just been introduced to.   He said he was honored to meet me, and then said,  "I didn't have to meet you to know what kind of good and honorable man you were because I know your wife."  

Take a look at the people in your life.  You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep.   As much as we love those people in our life, there are some that deserve every chance we give them and there are those that will destroy you bit by bit with every new chance you give them.  And you wont even see it until your mind, heart & spirit cant take any more and it begins to breakdown.

A toxic relationship is based on negativity, criticism, addiction, and emotional and verbal abuse. Feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem are quite common if we’re exposed long-term to someone who is toxic. Often it is someone who is significant in our lives: a spouse, parent, child, sibling, a colleague at work or a so called “friend.”

Last year I took a good look around me and sadly admitted to myself that there were people I have loved and spent my entire life trying to please, who needed to go.  It was one of the toughest things I have ever had to do but it has turned out to be such a good thing.  After a very long year, I can finally say I have moved on and along with the rest of my loved ones, are much better for it.

I cant change anyone, especially when they don't want, or even care to change.  I understood that I should not & could not subject myself or my family to the madness any longer.  I just wish I wasn't the last to see things for what they really were.  This is why it is so important to have such a good and loving support system around you. It has been life changing for me to realize that there does come a point when it is okay to say enough is enough, even if this person has been a loved family member.  I believe God wants us to be happy and kind to others but that doesn't mean He wants us to be taken advantage of. 

Thinking about giving someone another chance?  Sometimes it is important to examine the potential consequences of allowing someone back into your life.    Some folks are worth it and sadly, some are not.

Ask yourself a few questions:  Is this person a new person that you have never given a chance before, or someone that you may have given numerous chances?   If this is someone you have given numerous chances why are you considering giving them another chance?

What kind of past do you have with this person?  How do you think this person will help strengthen you, and do you see this person as having a positive influence on your life?  If the same thing happens that happened before with this person, do you think the relationship with that person would be worth living through that pain again?  These questions, as hard as they may be to ask ourselves are just some of the questions we must ask ourselves in order to determine if taking a chance on someone is worth it.  I think most people are worth at least chance or two.  We all have loved ones who we will never give up on because they are worth it.  Hopefully we will be able to more easily recognise who gets that chance and who should not.  Once we do, I think we will begin to be truly happy with life.

Last year was life changing for me in many ways.  After  30+  years of allowing a toxic person/persons to infect my life, things came to an ugly and very eye-opening head.  On this occasion I had obvious signs of the damage done but usually we cant see how toxic people bruise our spirits.  

What I now see as a trial that ended up being a blessing , sure did NOT feel like a blessing at the time!  I leaned on my amazing friends and family and after lots of tears, confusion and frustration, I learned a lot.  After months of riding a crazy roller coaster of emotions, I was finally able to stop and refocus on the eternal perspective.  I remembered who I  am, what kind of woman I want to be and, what it takes to become that woman. 

Last Christmas time a dear friend of mine shared an experience he had with me.  He was a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir at the time.  He said to me,  The greatest compliment I have ever been paid was by one of my church leaders (general authority) I had just been introduced to.   He said he was honored to meet me, and then said,  "I didn't have to meet you to know what kind of good and honorable man you were because I know your wife."  

Take a look at the people in your life.  You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep.   As much as we love those people in our life, there are some that deserve every chance we give them and there are those that will destroy you bit by bit with every new chance you give them.  And you wont even see it until your mind, heart & spirit cant take any more and it begins to breakdown.

A toxic relationship is based on negativity, criticism, addiction, and emotional and verbal abuse. Feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem are quite common if we’re exposed long-term to someone who is toxic. Often it is someone who is significant in our lives: a spouse, parent, child, sibling, a colleague at work or a so called “friend.”

Last year I took a good look around me and sadly admitted to myself that there were people I have loved and spent my entire life trying to please, who needed to go.  It was one of the toughest things I have ever had to do but it has turned out to be such a good thing.  After a very long year, I can finally say I have moved on and along with the rest of my loved ones, are much better for it.

I cant change anyone, especially when they don't want, or even care to change.  I understood that I should not & could not subject myself or my family to the madness any longer.  I just wish I wasn't the last to see things for what they really were.  This is why it is so important to have such a good and loving support system around you. It has been life changing for me to realize that there does come a point when it is okay to say enough is enough, even if this person has been a loved family member.  I believe God wants us to be happy and kind to others but that doesn't mean He wants us to be taken advantage of. 

Thinking about giving someone another chance?  Sometimes it is important to examine the potential consequences of allowing someone back into your life.    Some folks are worth it and sadly, some are not.

Ask yourself a few questions:  Is this person a new person that you have never given a chance before, or someone that you may have given numerous chances?   If this is someone you have given numerous chances why are you considering giving them another chance?

What kind of past do you have with this person?  How do you think this person will help strengthen you, and do you see this person as having a positive influence on your life?  If the same thing happens that happened before with this person, do you think the relationship with that person would be worth living through that pain again?  These questions, as hard as they may be to ask ourselves are just some of the questions we must ask ourselves in order to determine if taking a chance on someone is worth it.  I think most people are worth at least chance or two.  We all have loved ones who we will never give up on because they are worth it.  Hopefully we will be able to more easily recognise who gets that chance and who should not.  Once we do, I think we will begin to be truly happy with life.